“I should exercise more often.”
“I shouldn’t eat so much.”
“I should be getting more sleep.”
“I should call my mom more often.”
“I should be nicer to my kids.”
“I should work harder.”
Should statements set up two self-induced beliefs for a given situation:
- There exists a standard for what is right and wrong.
- I’m not conforming to this standard.
And this way of thinking can lead to anxiety, guilt, shame, frustration, or discouragement.
Ask yourself why you believe in your should statement. What need is it trying to fulfill? How important is it for this need to be fulfilled? Is the statement based on societal beliefs? Or is it echoing values ingrained from childhood circumstances that may no longer apply? Why do you suppose you are not motivated to do what you feel needs to be done? What is it that you’re unwilling to face?
Will you address your should statement by taking action or by defining a new standard?
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